Dark Wounds in Dark Times
by barelywriting
Summary: Emily was attacked by her boyfriend, Ben. Left barely alive, how will Emily and her friends pull through from this tragedy? -Contains dark themes: references in abuse, rape, trauma, substance-abuse, self-harm, coping-
1. Chapter 1 - The Beginning

**-I do not own Pretty Little Liars. comments, suggestions, constructive feedback, opinions is very well appreciated!-**

**Narrator POV - Emily's room, Thursday morning, 5 am. **

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BE- click._

Her eyes were still closed tight when her slender arm slowly slung over her head and her sweaty palm hit the SNOOZE button. Curious to what time it was, she opened her eyes slightly, just enough to read the time. It was five o'clock in the early morning. She closed her eyes and thought, _today was a Thursday_. Class doesn't start until nine o' clock, but Emily Fields, MVP swimmer of the Rosewood swimming team wakes up hours early for her daily intense morning runs. Even on the weekends, she goes on a run through the woods behind her house. It was a way for her to clear her mind; however, today was different. She didn't feel like running, not even a walk or to get out of bed. How could she? She couldn't even move. Her head was already throbbing and parts of her body ached, and on top of that, she was drained of all nothingness as she barely slept through the hours she had left last night. Her eyes closed and remained shut tight, but her mind was racing. Racing from the tiny bursts of images in her head from the incident that occurred last night, her body shook as she remembers his cold finger tips gliding its way up the bed sheets, creeping up to her thighs and harshly groping and marking her olive skin. She can still smell his breath, clouds of air breathing heavily on her face and his sticky wet tongue slithering forcefully inside her mouth.

Tears fell down at the tiny corners of her eyes, and she let out short, quiet whimpers. Finally, she pulled the edges of her covers and cocooned herself for some empty sense of safety.

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**Hanna POV - Rosewood High school, Lunch time.**

I walked towards our usual table seeing the girls already eating their lunch. I was a little bit late getting out of class as I had to beg Mrs. Montgomery to give me an extension on a late paper. Next to the table, I quickly sat down, accidentally slamming the bottom of my food tray on the cafeteria table.

_THUMP!_

"Woah! What's wrong Han?" Aria said in a surprised tone.

"Mrs. Montgomery doesn't want to give me an extension on that English paper", Hanna replied matter-of-factly. She was intentionally looking at Aria, eyeing her with a sarcastic but harmless glare.

"Don't give me that look! Even I don't get extensions - even if SHE IS my Mom." Aria beamed in a defensive tone.

Spencer let out a quiet laugh, enjoying the stare down between Hanna and Aria, knowing full well that this quarrel will end before everyone knows it.

"Where's Emily?" Spencer asked, realizing that Emily didn't come with Hanna from their English class together.

"Beats me." I replied, while I shrugged my shoulders upwards. "She wasn't in class today."

"Yeah, I didn't see her in Algebra either, and we just had a huge test. I texted her right before the class started, but I didn't get any text back from her." Aria pointed out in a worried tone.

"She's probably sick or something," Spencer said as she played with her peas and carrots with a fork on her plate. "Let's check up on her after school."

We quickly changed the topic and shrugged it off, not knowing then what really happened and what we were going to witness after. If only we knew, what was going on with her right then and there, we would have raced to her house in a heartbeat and would have tried to do anything to save her.

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**Emily's POV - The night before**

Mom was out of town for a few days, visiting my Dad who is stationed in Texas. Ben and I planned a study date, but if I only knew what his plans really were. Ben respected the fact that I was a virgin and that I wanted to wait. But lately whenever things would get heated and I wanted to slow down, he would push further than before. It was beginning to be frustrating for both sides, especially when he started to say rude and brass comments about it, but I shrugged it off. We were in my room and I was sitting next to my window seat, trying to memorize formulas for our Algebra test tomorrow. Ben was on my desk, doing the same but kept glancing towards my direction. I kept noticing his facial expression and the outline of his smirk at the corner of my eyes. Slowly he sat up and walked towards me, his head leaned in slowly next to the side of my cheek, forcing myself to jump in surprise as I felt his tongue lick my neck.

He was leaning towards me and I quickly pulled away and dodged his second attempt, "Ben! We have to study! The test is tomorrow!" I said in a stern and frustrated voice. He would always do something like this when we're in closed quarters. It's not because I didn't like it, but usually when things start to get heated, he becomes physically aggressive. He never hit me, he was just…rough. It scares me that he shows how much physically stronger he is than to me, usually pushing me down with his heavy torso while he grips my wrists over my head with his hands, then eventually letting me go.

But he kept going, although he was gentle this time, caressing the skin on my neck with his tongue. My body shook as I felt a slight tingle in my spine, and I slowly turned myself towards him and touched his lips. It was soft and wet and I lost myself for a moment.

I didn't even realize that I was standing up, locking my body with his. My palms softly brushed through the back of his head and his arms embraced my waist. Suddenly, he began touching me and making me feel uncomfortable; my eyes flew wide open and pushed him away from me. "Um okay, uh, we need to study for the test…remembers?" I turn around, walking towards my study spot next to the window.

"Ugh, you're such a tease, Em." Ben said in an angry and frustrated voice.

"Excuse me?!" I said quizzically, not sure if I heard him right.

"I said, YOU'RE SUCH A TEASE! What?! I'll never be good enough for you?! How long do you have to keep me waiting?!" Ben was closer to me now, he took a couple of steps to face me and his hands gripped tightly on my shoulders. I could feel his nails clawing through my skin.

"Ben! Let go of me! You're hurting me…" I cry out a whimper and I could feel my heart racing. In a quick second, I felt gravity pushing me towards the wall, my back slamming so hard behind me, then my recoiling towards the floor. As I felt my body fall limp, my head caught the edge of the table, and in an instant everything was dark.

I woke up on top of my bed, my wrists bound by the opposite polls of my bedpost. My ankles felt the same rough ligature wrapped around my skin, pulling my legs on opposite sides. I lift my head up, trying to get a look my body's stinging sensations, but I only see my covers on top of me. Then I gasped. I realized I was naked in my room, and could feel the texture of the covers onto my cold and sensitive skin. In the dark, I can see Ben's masculine figure standing up next to me with eyes wide, filled with hunger. I began to panic, as my vision became clearer and focused on the dark silhouette in front of me.


	2. Chapter 2 - Unravel Me

"Ben! What are you doing? Let me go!" He didn't respond and his eyes darted where my stomach was under the covers. Slowly, he swung his left leg over my bottom half and pushed himself up with his right leg to the bed. He was sitting just right over my ankles, his knees folded in between my legs. I felt vulnerable and scared. Gently, he took the edges of the thin cover and began pulling it slowly just barely exposing me. My eyes grew in horror as I started to realize what he was intending to do. Before I could scream, he stuffed a soiled underwear into my mouth. Slowly, he leaned in next to my head and whispered in my ear, "You can't say no anymore, Em."

Tears began to crawl on my face and I began to jerk myself off of him. I was fighting so hard and moving so violently that my knee managed to hit him in between his legs. I saw the agony in his face, and he fell off my ankles and landed on my side.

"FUCKING BITCH!" I heard it in a low tone through his teeth. Before I knew, his dark figure rose on top of me and backhanded my right cheek.

"How do you like being kicked in the crotch, BITCH?!" At the same moment those words left his mouth, he did kneed me, jabbing extreme pressure and pain in between me.

I never knew anybody this violent, maybe only in television. I didn't believe that things like this do happen in real life, and everything going on at that very moment seemed so surreal.

He was done with me now and I began to make sense of what time it was. But all I could feel, see, smell, taste and hear was his sweat and heavy body over me. His head was lying on top of my breasts and I could feel his heart beat slowing down on my abdomen. It was a cold night, but I felt flushed, tired and hot. I felt the agonizing pain and wetness in between my thighs. I felt my skin was torn wide open through my vagina. My body ached all over and I could feel stingy bite marks on my breasts and nipples. I could taste the blood in my mouth and at the corner of my cheek as it crept down my lip. My left eye was swollen and I could barely make out his figure as he slowly untied me.

I felt so disgusted, empty, cold and torn. I felt that I had died but I was being forced to live this life.

I didn't move, not even an inch. He rolled me onto my side and I pulled my arms and knees inwards and curled up to a fetal position. I wanted to envelope myself from everything. I wanted to disappear. He placed his chin onto the bed as he kneeled in front of my face.

"I swear, you better not tell anybody about this, or else-" he hissed.

I felt like I was about to pass out from the intense pain I felt all over my body, and right when my vision was clouding, I felt him yank my hair to lift my head. "Hey! Can you hear me-?!"

Then everything was dark.

It was 1:13 in the afternoon already when I finally came to. The sun was shamefully blaring through my curtains and little light filled the room. Slowly, with my left arm, I pushed myself upwards but my arm gave way of my weight. I felt an intense pain on my left arm, and I could see it swollen. Then I began to feel the rest of the pain that is itching its way to display their marks on me.

**Spencer's POV - In front of Emily's House.**

Aria drove us to Emily's house and parked at the empty driveway. I saw Emily's car parked on the sidewalk since her mother usually takes the driveway. I guess Dr. Fields is still not home from visiting Emily's Dad in Texas yet. _I wonder if Emily is feeling okay..._

"Hmmm, did Em tell us what time her Mom was coming home today?" Hanna casually asked.

"I think it should be in a few hours. Not entirely sure." Aria responded.

We all got out of the car and we walked ourselves towards the front door. Hanna was the first one to reach the doorsteps and without hesitation she rang the doorbell. We waited for a few seconds until Hanna rang the doorbell again. Aria began to go around the house to check if anybody was home through the windows.

"Nothing, she's probably sleeping soundly in her room." Aria stated.

Without speaking, she walked past behind me where a potted plant stood tall. Clearing the thin surface of the dirt inside the pot, unraveled a pair of house keys that the Fields had stashed away.

"Here, Em showed me where her spare keys were when we sneaked back to her house late last Halloween." Hanna said matter-of-fact.

"Okay, good. Let's use it; I'm kind of getting really worried. She's still not picking up her phone." I heard my voice slightly crack. I didn't know why exactly, but I can feel my heart beat faster and faster, as if something was wrong.

**Aria's POV - Emily's House**

Hanna unlocked the key latch and twisted the doorknob slowly. The door pushed wide open and Hanna yelled out her name.

"Emily? It's us, Aria, Spence and Hanna…._silence_….Emily? _More silence. _

We all looked at each other and all thought of the same thing. We could feel it in our bones, and it was screaming at us at our faces. _Something is wrong._ Hanna was the first one to go, then Spencer, then me. We skipped through the staircases in two's and dashed towards Emily's door. By the time I got to the top of the stairs, I see Hanna's back blocking Emily's doorway entrance, just showing Emily's head turned through the cracks. Hanna was frozen still and I heard her begin to whimper. Panic struck me; I felt a shock and a tremendous and continuous jab pounding on my chest. I ran towards the door as if it was the only thing that I can do; and there I froze. Like Hanna. Both with the feelings of shock, pain, disbelief, agony, and despair. And yet I felt the void of nothingness.


	3. Chapter 3 - Unravel Me Part 2

**Hello! Wondering what else I can do to make this story better! I'm getting a lot of hits, but hopefully this chapter gets you guys going! Again reviews/feedback/suggestions would be nice. And Aria will have a bigger role next chapter! **

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**Emily's POV - Emily's Room**

_I am somewhere shrouded in gray emptiness. My insides were crumbling and I feel the gravity of the pain forcing my chest to pump- pushing and pulling my muscles out of my heart. Darkness begins to alter the musty surroundings, beginning to where I lay, until it swallows me whole. And in the black inch of darkness, I heard a sweet voice...calling my name._

"Emily, Em! Em, wake up! There's a pulse but…but, she's barely breathing." I vaguely hear Spencer's muffled voice, and myself coming to. I felt a light tap on my right cheek, holding it upwards and a slight nudge on my left shoulder.

Slowly, I begin to open my eyes, but my left eye only opened halfway. I can feel the swollen socket weighing over my eyes. Cringing through the sudden icy cold atmosphere of where I lay, I looked straight up and saw my blue painted ceiling. I was in my room; on my bed. Suddenly, from my blurred vision, Spencer and Aria appeared in my view.

* * *

**Hanna's POV - Emily's Room**

I paced back and forth in the room, grinding my teeth and biting my lip. I didn't know what to do.

"I'm calling the police!" I suddenly hear myself yell out. Before I could grab my phone, I hear a moan in her voice, desperately trying to talk.

"No…. Please...don't." Emily begged. She was sitting on the up now with her back leaning on the head board. She looked drained, bloody and swollen and I couldn't even imagine where she gets the energy to speak. Just looking at her makes my knees shake, barely holding myself together in front of her. Her left eye was swollen and she can barely open the other. She was wearing her pajama bottoms and I could see that it was torn and wasn't pulled all the way up to her waist. The blankets were around her torso, right above her breast. It covered everything but her arms as her hair dropped wrangled across her face. She was black and blue from what was vulnerable to all of us and that's when I felt my eyes well up as I strain myself with anticipation from what was lying underneath.

* * *

**Spencer's POV - Emily's Room**

"What do you mean don't call the police?!" Hanna screamed.

"Hanna!" I said in a stern voice as I glared at her for yelling at Emily's fragile state.

My attention returned back to Emily and I clasped both hands slowly onto her face, moving it towards my eyes making contact. "Sweetie, it's going to be okay. Okay? Can you tell me what happened?" I tried my best to say those words in the calmest way I can possible. _Hold yourself together Spence. Hold yourself together._ I kept telling myself. The sight and feeling of her skin sent goose bumps and repulsive images in my mind to whom and what could have done this. Just touching her face leaves blood stains onto my fingertips.

It was clear however to what else had happened to Emily at a state like this. She was raped.

"Han, go ahead. Call the police; we need to get her to a hospital as soon as possible." Keeping a calm decorum, I didn't give myself even a slight chance of failure of leaving Emily's eyes. Even in her broken stature, she kept her flinching eyes looking up at me.

"I-I-I…I..I-" Emily murmured while her eyes were trying to open themselves. "I-I'm fine… r-really, I am." Emily pushes herself up from her sitting position, but as soon as her torso was using its own weight, I saw the horrid look in her face as she blared out a cry of pain. Aria and I caught her before she throbbed anymore forward. We guided her back to lay on the head rest while Hanna ran towards the other side of the bed.

"The police are on their way" Hanna said abruptly. However, my panic was still seeping down my body, as my mind raced as to what else I can I do to ease her pain. Suddenly, it just became clear. There was so much blood. Something is very, very wrong.

"Em, I need to see where the blood is coming from okay? I'm going to take off the cover around you." Emily's half-opened eyes, blared at mines as I can hear her voice in my mind screaming, no.

I turn my eyes to Hanna and nodded as she stood up and pulled the covers behind Emily. I felt my heart stop and drop.

"We need a towel or something." I grabbed one of her pillows and slipped the pillow case from it. I placed it right under Emily's rib, putting pressure on the blood oozing out of her skin.

"It's not working. I'm grabbing a towel." Aria screamed in panic as she ran out of the room.

What seemed like a million hours only went on for a short few minutes. I can hear the ambulance sirens across town, wailing through the streets through Emily's window. _Thank goodness, they're almost here. _Emily Fields sat in silence, but her facial expression and how she clasped onto her wound told us something else. Her sides were in blotches of black and blue while the dark smeared blood stains grew dry from the lashes of her ripped skin. She was stabbed right under the side of her ribs and I could the clean line of dripping blood. Her breasts had bruises and bite marks, some bleeding, some encrusted with dried blood. It seemed that the agony she had gone through lasted at an immensely long time.

Hanna, quickly taking off her jacket placed it over Emily's. I can see her hands shaking as she watched a pool of blood forming on the side of her body and her pajama bottoms were becoming drenched. I looked at Emily's pale and bruised face and I could see that she was falling out of consciousness.

"Hold on Em! You're going to be okay! You're going to be okay!"

As I gave more pressure onto her wound, everything began to happen in slow motion. I could hear the sirens outside Emily's house. I couldn't even hear my voice anymore as I kept telling Emily that everything will be okay. Hanna grabbed Emily's face with both of her hands and Hanna's lips began to move. She was telling her something, and she had her face set stern and serious. Then the paramedics came and pushed us aside.

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**What would you look to happen so far?**


	4. Chapter 4 - Never calling it quits

**Aria's POV - Rosewood Hospital**

We all sat in the lobby in a blank daze. We were in complete shock and disbelief but at the same time an incomprehensible sense of fear, worry, agony and emotional pain. Hanna had stopped crying and she was leaning on my shoulder with her eyes closed. My arm wrapped around hers as we were both trying to comfort each other. Spencer walked through the doors with four cups of coffee at hand all in a tray. It was almost 8 o' clock in the evening and Mrs. Fields made it just less than an hour ago- almost over four hours after Emily was admitted in the hospital. They wouldn't tell us what was going on; she is in surgery now, but one of her parents had to be present to tell us the ongoing diagnosis.

Spencer all gave us our cup of coffee and one was left in the middle of the lobby table for Mrs. Fields. All of us looked down or up, around us but never towards each other. We didn't know how to react to a situation like this. I mean, we just saw our best friend, sweet Em laying in her room where she was beaten, stabbed, and raped. We all saw her vulnerable, torn and ripped. I saw her earlier today, broken as to anyone I have never seen before. And to be honest, I thought we were going to lose her earlier.

The steel lobby doors flung wide open and all of our heads turned towards that direction. Our anticipation was bittersweet; Mrs. Fields had come back from speaking to the doctors, but burdened with two endings to which one is the lesser evil. _Is Emily going to be okay after this? Will she ever recover? What happened… who could have done such a thing…..?_

Spencer handed Mrs. Fields her cup of coffee. Mrs. Fields twisted the foam cup around her fingers before taking a sip.

"You girls better sit down." Mrs. Fields sounded surprisingly calm or at least her voice was. She is usually tense with an overprotective connotation to what Emily had to do for anything and everything. It must be killing her that she wasn't around when Emily needed her the most. I stared at her while rubbing Hanna's shoulder and an awkward silence circulated the room.

"Mrs. Fields... Pam?" Hanna interrupted.

"Oh, yes sorry girls. Emily… well, the doctors said that Emily is just finished surgery. She, um, made it." I can hear her voice cracking. "She lost a lot of blood, and she is on fluids right now. There were severe bruising. Um, her knee bone is shattered, a broken arm, a strained wrist, six cracked ribs and a dislocated jaw." My eyes gaped open; _I didn't know it was that bad. _"Her vision in her left eye will heal after the bruising dissipates… But one of the cracked ribs slightly punctured her lung, almost like drowning in her own blood" Mrs. Fields finally paused for a second, gathering her composure "But she's strong, she pulled through the surgery and is in ECG now. I'm sure of it…"

"Also, I know you girls probably know this already but she was-"

"She was raped." Spencer decided to just blurt it out. It was a four letter word that I could not make myself to say out loud after today. It was painful, and all I could think of was Emily and what she had gone through. She didn't deserve this…

Each of our parents eventually came, stayed for awhile until Mr. Fields, husband, The Colonel- Wayne Fields arrived. He was tall, taller than Emily or her mother, and he was strong, brave and modest. The Fields only have Emily as their only child, and they could not cherish anyone else. Soon, we all left, telling each other to try to get some rest, and just to come back to the hospital the next day.

* * *

**Hanna's POV - Hospital Room**

It has been over a week now and Emily is slowing getting progress. A week ago she was on life support, hooked in a variety of tubes and machines, fighting for her life, fighting so hard to just wake up and be with us again. The doctors said it was just any day now, just any day. I was seating on a hospital chair, leaning my head on Emily's arm. My fingers twirled around hers so I can immediately feel any sign of movement. The ventilator was right next to Aria and I, making more sounds than any of us, and it sounded more alive than Emily. _I shouldn't think this way._ Spencer was across the bed, telling Emily the events of our days, usually it was the same thing but it was comforting knowing that she can hear us, or at least that's what the doctors believe. Aria was next to me, rubbing my back and she talked with Spencer about today too…. And that's when I felt it…

Her fingers began to move slightly with mines. I shot straight up, still holding her hand, but staring seriously at her face. Within seconds, her eyes began to open. Aria and Spencer began to get the idea of what was happening and both were quiet now.

"Oh my god", I can feel myself beginning to quell up. "Hey Em-", It was hard and unfamiliar blurting those words out to Emily. It had felt so long talking to my best friend.

"I'm going to go and get Mrs. Fields", Spencer said out loud, then she quickly dashed out of the room heading towards Mr. and Mrs. Fields.

* * *

**Emily's POV - Hospital Room**

_It was quiet, cool and soothing. I can hear someone breathing next to me. Alive and well. All of suddens, voices and noises began to spur. Where am I? I tried to speak, but no sound came out. And in a moment, the whiteness changed its contrast; giving color to my surroundings. Then I saw her blonde hair. Hanna. Then it was Aria. Beautiful Aria and her tiny stature, but full of energy and character. Then it was white again, then dark. Then cool, but not as the same quiet soothing feeling ever again._


	5. Chapter 5 - Hysteria

**Hello, this chapter is just quick transition from Emily's attack. The coming chapters will revolve more about Spencer, Hanna and Aria and Emily's parents helping Emily cope with everything. **

**I'm a psych major, so there will be a lot of references her in terms of trauma and behaviorial psychology and coping. Hope you enjoy!**

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**Emily's POV**

_It was quiet, cool and soothing. I can hear someone breathing next to me. Alive and well. All of sudden, voices and noises began to spur. Where am I? I tried to speak, but no sound came out. And in a moment, the whiteness changed its contrast; giving color to my surroundings. Then it was blank white again, then dark. Then cool, but not as the same quiet, soothing feeling ever again._

My eyelids were like concrete; I could barely open them, and even then- I couldn't see very well. The entirety of the room was still bright white and I can smell the sharp and strong scent of bleach.

"Hey Em." My eyes slowly traveled towards the familiar voice. It was Hanna, and next to her was Aria. _Where am I?_ I tried to say out loud. However, no sound came out, only a thin cloud of breath fogged up the plastic that was hovering over my nose and mouth. _Where am I?! _This time keeping the wonder to myself. I managed to find the strength to move my head around, despite the pain aching at the corner of my head. I began to grip the blanket closest to my fingertips when I felt the wave of uneasiness and panic come over my chest, arms and legs. I felt numb and falling.

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**Spencer's POV – Emily's hospital room**

"Emily? Emily?!", screamed Mrs. Fields when we entered the room. Emily was crying now, and shook weakly on her hospital bed. _What the hell happened?_ I thought to myself. I was gone for a few minutes-

"She's having a panic attack!", Aria wailed as she covered both the palms of her hand onto her mouth. I was standing in between the door frames when the nurse pushed through and told everybody to leave. Doctors began rushing in, trying to sedate Emily from her frantic state. Huddled outside her room, we were only able to see the brief scene of Emily's sedation through the glass window. Mrs. Fields was crying, resting her face onto Mr. Fields' chest, and walked towards the waiting room once again. It was just Hanna, Aria and I now, watching Emily struggle with her inner demons through the glass window.

"What happened to you, Em?" Hanna softly asked for us to hear. But Emily couldn't hear us through the thick glass window. The Emily we see before us is not the Emily we used to know. This Emily was torn, lost and broken. The Emily before us was crying hysterically before three doctors had to pin her down and sedate her to fall into deep sleep. _Where are you Em?_


	6. Chapter 6 - Breathe Me

**Emily's POV – Emily's room**

_Stop! Please, don't! Don't-don't…don't! But he wouldn't stop, he wouldn't. He wouldn't let me go. His grip was tightening around my arms and flaming pain drove up my thighs. His chest pounded heavily on mines and I gasped for air to stay alive. He collapsed on me right before I thought it would never end, and I could hear his heart thump profusely on top of my breasts._

"Emily! Wake up honey! Wake up." I felt my entire body shake gently when I flung my eyes open. I couldn't sit up from the stab wound on my left side, so she gently leaned in and enveloped me in her arms. I was crying hysterically now and screaming for air as my lungs were about to give out. _The dreams kept coming and coming, it won't stop. He won't stop. _

"Honey, Em- breathe. Breathe in, and out. You can do it. In and out." Mom carefully pulled me up and began rubbing my back. She placed her left palm onto my stomach, carefully timing in and out the circulation of air in my lungs. "You can do it…"

"I-_ha_-c-can-_hau-_c-can't", "Yes you can, come on Em, shh…" But I couldn't, even though she was pleading for me to breathe through the tedious paces that my lungs felt. I kept gasping for air.

"Okay-oh, okay. I'll stop it…here." I felt the linings of my mouth and nose being covered by a plastic mask. The clear tube displayed the white fumes racing through the opening. As the ventilator calmed my lungs and my mind, I felt my body being gently laid down as my mind drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**No POV – Rosewood High School**

The girls all sat in their usual round table during lunch. It was a beautiful day out, but they were oblivious to their surroundings. It was the fifth time Spencer looked at her watch, and she wasn't alone. Hanna, Spencer and Aria felt the day couldn't have dragged itself any longer. They all wished it was 3 o' clock, where they can hastily leave school and head to Emily's house right after.

"I wonder what Emily is doing now." Aria thought out loud.

"Probably watching reruns of The OC." Hanna said while smiling. The girls all laughed; although half-heartedly. They all knew that wasn't the case since the attack. Emily hadn't been herself since then, she barely ate, spoke or smiled; and the night terrors weren't getting any better either. Emily's mom had to spend nights by her bedside when she was in the hospital since she couldn't bear to leave Emily alone. It was a silver lining when the doctors finally let Emily home, but since she was still hooked up in all sorts of machines, they had to replace her regular bed with the hospital one. A nurse was dispatched to care for her in the mornings every other day, while Emily's mom was given training for any drastic changes for Emily during the other days and nights.

* * *

**Aria's POV**

"I thought she hated The OC?" Spencer asked plainly, "Yeah, I thought so too", as I seconded the motion; "Hmmm, possibly, but we did spend an entire night watching the seasons." Hanna replied, while twirling her fingers around her blonde hair. "I always thought Adam Brody was cute".

Even with all the layers of make-up and concealer, I can still see the enormous worry that has been plastering itself on Hanna's face over the past week. She tried to hide it from the simple jokes she would make, knowing that we would begin worrying about her.

_RIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG GGGGG!_

"Ugh, finally!" Hanna excitedly said, as she grabbed her belongings and rushed out of the cafeteria room. The two girls followed, side by side, still eyeing the clocks and Hanna in the hallway.

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**Pam Fields' POV – Fields' Residence**

"She had another one Wayne", I began telling my husband over the phone.

"It'll pass hon. Just give it time, these things take time."

"I-I don't know. I don't know if she can take anymore-"

"Shh, she will. Our Em is a tough one, she'll get through this."

"Her attacks are getting worst, today we had to use the ventilator again."

"Well, what did the doctors say?"

"Well, she begins her therapy sessions in two weeks. With that, and the medication, they said we should expect even a little bit of progress with her physical health. But-"

"I see. It's just going to take some time Pam. Here, listen-"

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Okay, I have to go. The girls are here for Emily, I'll talk to you later. I love you." I said hastily as I steadily walked towards the door.

"Okay. Bye. Love you too." I turned the wireless phone call off cutting what Wayne had anything else to say. At the door, I carefully turned the knob towards the left.

"Hi Mrs. Fields", Hanna said brightly with the Aria and Spencer behind.

"Hi girls. Come in, come in." I led them inside the house and ushered them towards the stairs leading to Emily's room.

"She's right upstairs, and um, inside voices. Keep your voice soft; she's very sensitive at everything right now. Let me know if Emily or you guys need anything." Just before I could walk towards the kitchen room, I felt a hand slightly pull me back.

"Sorry- Mrs. Fields, but, is she-, is Emily-? I stared at Aria as she nervously said those words. The girl's eyes displayed anticipation and worry, "She'll be fine. Her ribs are healing and the cut is looking better too. She can walk, but barely. The brace on her leg won't be taken off until another two weeks, and the doctor recommended light walks, but a lot of rest still."

"Has she talked to you…Mrs. Fields?", I hear Spencer's voice surprisingly crack, voiding the confidence that used to radiate from her.

I looked down to my shoes, I can't look at these girls anymore, especially being in this conversation. "No. She hasn't." I sighed and stared at the girls' worried faces, "but, maybe she'll talk to you girls. She, she needs to." With that, I placed my hand over Aria's shoulder and turned and walked away.


	7. Chapter 7 - Time does not Heal

**Spencer's POV**

I could feel Aria and Hanna trembling behind me. It was like going inside a Haunted House for the first time when were kids. I have to admit, I am scared. Scared shitless off what happened to Emily, who it was, and if it will happen again. This is all too, too much. But I have to be strong for Emily. Emily won't talk, but we all know who it is. The rape kit results should be coming in a few weeks and hopefully the DNA results will nail that bastard! It's just a matter of time.

Emily's door was already open and we could see the railings of her white bed frame. We couldn't see her this time, relieved from a flashback that occurred last week. _Stop_._ Stop thinking about that._ I can hear myself talking.

"Stop what Spencer?" Aria asked. _How I've been talking outloud?_ "Spence, are you okay?" Hanna asked me, turning her head on to the side.

"Yeah, yeah, come on, let's see Emily." I calmly said while shrugging it off.

We walked inside the brightly lit room, the sun was outside, shining rays through Emily's white lace window curtains. And to our right was Emily's hospital bed, moved and positioned to cover twice the space her regular bed had to usually occupy.

"Look, her breathing mask is on; she probably had a panic attack". Hanna's voice sounded low and quiet, but steady. It was an unemotional statement, but Aria and I knew it was just an act.

"She had a panic attack…again?" Aria rhetorically asked us as we stared at her from her bedside. "I guess so," I tiredly responded. Aria walked up towards the ventilator machine and began poking around through the hard plastic plate cover, "I hate this thing, it makes so much noise".

We finally all settled around Emily. Aria and I sat at the left side of Emily's bed, while Hanna sat on the opposite side. She looked exhausted, but the worry in her eyes tells otherwise. Her eyes stared at Emily's face, not moving for a long period of time.

* * *

**Hanna's POV**

The seat was comfortable; it's probably because it was the seat that Mrs. Fields used all the time to be with Emily.

_Oh Em_, _come back to us_.

Suddenly, I can see Emily's eyes slowly opening up; "So, you're awake." I spoke very soft, remembering what Mrs. Fields told us. I was smiling, but Emily looked at me with an expression of no emotion. She looked tired, drained and gone.

"Hey Em," Aria spoke quietly as she tip-toed to Emily's left side. "How are you feeling?" Emily's eyes slowly traveled to mines, exhaling a cloud of fog under her mask.

"I-I'm good." She answered through the muffled mask. "Ta-take off-…" I can barely hear her, but I knew from her hand motions that she wanted us to take the mask off. Spencer glided around me, leaning in and carefully lifting Emily's head to unlatch the strap from behind. "There you go, sweetie".

It was quiet now, the room was filled with awkward silence. We didn't anticipate the fact that we had so much to talk about, but none of us wanted to talk about it, or at least nobody wanted to initiate the topic.

"Who did this to you, Em?", surprised on how angry my voice sounded. I felt Spencer's glare but kept my eyes on Emily. Emily, staring back at me with those pitiful eyes, just blandly nudged her head sideways.

"It was…an accident," Emily replied softly; it was almost a whisper, barely hearing it unless I read the outline of her moving lips.

"Emily, this doesn't look like an accident", Aria hastily said, hiding her contorted face from us.

"Yeah, Em," Spencer began. "Who did this to you? Just tell us. Tell your mom-, tell the police!" Spencer's voice going higher and louder as each word is said outloud.

I found myself glaring at Spencer, opposites of what our routine dialogue came out to be.

"What's going on here?" I hear Emily's mother's voice slightly roar. "I can heard somebody yell all the way from the kitchen!"

"Uhh, sorry Mrs. Fields, we…",

"You were just leaving." Cutting me off without hesitation. "I think Emily has had enough visitors for this afternoon, you guys can see her again tomorrow.

"Its- its okay, Mom." Emily tiredly said. It was surprising that she sounded so stern and yet so weak from the way she moved her lips.

"Well okay, if you say so…" Emily's mother stared at us for a longer while before turning to leave.

"Okay- inside voices you guys", Aria finally spoke out. "Yes, and we just want to know, who did this to you. They can't get away with-", Spencer continued, and with a little bit of strain in her voice.

"Spence," finally speaking out. She stared at me, her eyes dipped in tears and her hands began to make a fist. Aria began rubbing Spencer's back while I watched Emily watching her with no emotion. It was a weird feeling, seeing Emily so…numb and void from any emotion unless physical ache came in her way.

"I…I..", Emily slowly began, "He-he, he raped me."


	8. Chapter 8 - Addiction

**No POV**

She slowly sipped her sky-colored coffee mug, catching a light whiff of the mandarin-flavored tea. Her palms wrapped around the mug, until her fingers meet and twirl to have a steady grip. She sat by her window seat, her legs curled up to her chest and her head turned towards the right watching through her window seat. Below, Emily could see her three best friends walking up to her porch, knowing that Mrs. Fields will open the door for them. However, Emily kept staring through her window, lost in thought of the events that had passed. Her mind replayed every screenshot that had happened that one night, cringing and biting her gums every time the memories and the thoughts were getting heavier. She couldn't help it, it was dangerous enough for her health, but post-traumatic stress does not automatically disappear after a few weeks.

Aria, Spencer and Hanna began walking upstairs to Emily's room. Mrs. Fields let them in and ushered them up towards the stairs and reminded them of the usual rules to be careful not to set Emily off.

"Her panic attacks are not getting any better", Mrs. Fields told the girls; her brow dug dipper into the corners of her eyes, worry plastering on her face. However, Mrs. Fields hospitality was still not amidst;

"So if you girls need anything, I'll be in the study." Mrs. Fields gave all the girls a nod and a smile, before turning towards the corner where the study was at.

The girls slowly walked up the flight of stairs, quietly pressing their feet on the wooden plank, careful to not disturb Emily if she was asleep. It seemed peculiar for them to visit Emily or any other friend if they were resting or asleep, but this was different. For the past few weeks, the girls had been visiting Emily at her house after school, checking up on her as well as keeping her updated with all of Emily's classes; but more so worried for the monster to come back.

* * *

**Emily's Point of View**

_I have so many things to do; isn't there an Algebra test coming up next Tuesday?_

_BEN! GET OFF OF ME!_

_STOP._

_School. Test. Algebra. Breathe._

_STOP._

_Stop…Please stop. I told him to stop._

_DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. _

_School. Spencer, Aria and Hanna are here. Breathe. _

"Hey Em", I could have sworn my heart jumped when I heard Aria's voice by my room door. My entire body shivered, and the look on my face that I had been hiding for these past few weeks had been wanting to show itself lately. I think they noticed, hopefully not.

"How…are you?", Hanna continued. "Feeling better." Telling myself more than them hearing it. It was the line that I would always tell them just so we could move on to a different topic. But they knew different. They know about the dreams, the nightmares, the hot flashes, the panic attacks, and the disturbingly amount of pain killers and anti-anxiety pills that I have been taking.

"Sleep okay?" Spencer finally broke the gap of silence from each question and answer. "…yeah". I replied; "I'm guessing that you're taking your benzos", Hanna said matter-of-fact. My face turned away, breaking the eye contact, then going back to the glass window that I have been staring through for the longest time.

"She needs it, okay?" Aria sounding profoundly frustrated by Hanna's disapproval of pharmaceutical anti-anxiety medicines. Hanna just clasped her arms together, silenced, knowing deep down that I do need it.

_I need it, to be okay. To seem okay._

"Anyway…", Spencer finally breaking the tension; "I heard Ben's trial begins next week.

"That asshole doesn't deserve a trial", Aria retorted. "I know, but it's the law". Spencer replied, "But he'll definitely be going to jail. The evidence is just…." Spencer finished mid-sentence, forgetting that I was in the room. I knew what she was going to say regardless, I just didn't want to hear it from her- from anyone; even from myself.

Letting out a small heave, I quickly grabbed my crutches standing right behind me and skipped awkwardly towards my bedside drawer. I felt their eyes watching as I took out a capsule container and unscrewing the lid to grab four tiny green circular pills.

"Are you supposed to be taking four?" Aria questioned, accompanied with a worry tone. I ignored what seemed like a rhetorical question to me; it's true I shouldn't be taking four at a time, and it's true that I have taken over twelve if I took these tiny saviors. But I _need it._ I need all I can get.

I gulped down the four pills and sat on the edge of my bed. Pushing away my crutches away, I carefully glided myself on to my bed. Within a few seconds, I can feel it. It was a euphoric high that I felt, my legs and arms and body felt numb, but free at the same time. The back of my head felt so light, I caught myself freely not thinking about _anything_. I just stared at the girls and mindlessly listened as they told me stories of their days, it just felt so good.


End file.
